September 23rd, 2009 Archive

Hate Mail, The Pollyanna Myth, and How Personal Development is Screwing Up People’s Lives

September 23rd, 2009 by Liz in Financial Freedom

OK, here’s the deal, I hadn’t originally planned on  going off on a RANT but I’ve just GOT to bust another big Myth that I hadn’t realized was quite so prevalent…

I call it the Pollyanna Myth (remember the little girl played by Hayley Mills who was perpetually “Glad” regardless of  Pollyanna Mythwhat was going on around her?  My mother loved that film and even as a kid it irritated the living crap out of me – but that’s another story all together <g>).

The Pollyanna Myth is truly an ugly one and here’s how it came up…

You see, most of the feedback we’ve been getting to the Hollywood Myths Report has been extremely positive, but we’ve had a few people who are all up in arms.

Now I don’t usually let that bother me, but what really struck me was that these people all have basically the same gripe.

Here’s a quote from one of the emails we’ve been receiving that pretty much sums up the gist of all those that don’t like it…

“This promotion… reeks of victim mentality, its tone is very negative and blaming… and the message in which (you) delivered it is uninspiring.  (It) is the antithesis of being empowered and taking responsibility for our lives.“

Right.

Now everyone is entitled to their opinion and when you get in people’s faces with stuff like we did you’re bound to tick a few people off.

What really gets to me though is the idea that people really and truly believe you have to be happy, positive, and upbeat all the time.

As if…

I’m calling a GREAT BIG B.S. on that one.

Now you probably know I’m the creator and co-founder of Healthy Wealthy nWise Magazine.  And since it’s the largest online self growth magazine in the world you could say I’m pretty well entrenched in the business of the Personal Development world.

I believe your personal development (without the capital P and D) is vitally important to the success of your business and in turn your ability to create the life you desire, but when anything becomes a multi-billion dollar industry a lot of crap, half-truths, and misinformation starts floating around and you have to be careful…

And the flavor of the month right now in Personal Development could pretty well be summed up as, “don’t worry be happy”.

Now I’ve got no problem with people being happy – in fact that’s what we’re all about – helping people create the freedom to live the lives of their dreams – sounds like Happy to me….

What I DO have a problem with is the idea that “positive thinking” regardless of what you’re feeling and experiencing is the key to that happiness.

You know what – if you’re feeling crappy, frustrated, and confused – thinking of fluffy bunnies, butterflies, and rainbows, just “ain’t gonna cut it…”

That’s masking the problem or sweeping it under the rug, and since when is THAT empowering?!?

That’s like having a water stain on your ceiling from a roof leak and thinking you’re fixing the problem by putting a coat of paint on it.  Yeah you can’t see the stain anymore but the problem is still there and it’s getting worse!!

You need to get to the root of the problem, dig it out, and transform it if you want to make real and lasting change.

But that doesn’t sound “nice” or “inspiring” – it sounds like work.  And it is.

But damnit we all know that’s how the world works and it really !$%#@% me off when people try to say differently…

About a year ago Ric and I were out in California meeting with Chris and Janet, our partners in Healthy Wealthy nWise.

Well when we were out there Janet and I were filmed for a movie that is in production to be an empowerment piece for women.  Well when I got there they told me one of the “vows” that the women who watch this movie will be taking to move them forward in life is, “to always be positive…”

I just about choked on my $8.00 bottle of water <g>.

When I got in front of the camera they asked me what one of the most important pieces of advice I could give to women was.

This is pretty much what I said and it goes for Men, Women, and Children…

There are a lot of people out there who are trying to tell you your negative emotions are bad and your positive emotions are good, and you should try to stomp out one and nurture the other.

It’s bogus!

Emotions are your guidance system they aren’t good or bad.

If you are in a situation where you are frustrated, stuck, upset, or downright ticked off you’re not supposed to try to change the EMOTION, you’re supposed to change the SITUATION – your participation in it, your reaction to it, your belief about it.

The emotion is telling you there’s something in the situation that doesn’t work for you and your job is to figure out what the something is.

The same goes for being happy, excited, and generally joyous…  You job is not just to revel in the emotions (while that can be fun too <g>) what is MOST empowering is to figure out WHY you’re feeling that way, what are you doing, who are you with, what are you thinking.  Then you can bring MORE of that into your life.

Positive thinking won’t make lasting change – examining your emotions positive AND negative and choosing what empowers you will make that change.

OK… probably NOT what they wanted me to say since they want everyone to “be positive” – that reel of film will most likely end up in the same spot as the reel from my interview for The Secret – on the cutting room floor <g>.

But that’s FINE – I’m not going to perpetuate another Hollywood or Personal Development Myth.  They’re DANGEROUS, they steal your power, and they’re DESTROYING your business!

Its time for the Personal Development world to stop trying to empower people and do what it’s supposed to do – Help People Empower Themselves!!

Power comes from within – success comes from within – the courage and the stamina to go out and run your own business, to face the challenges and prevail, to create the FREEDOM and the life you truly deserve comes from within…

And quite frankly there’s a lot of B.S. and other nasty stuff that’s standing in your way.  And a lot of well-meaning people who will set themselves up as a guru out there to “empower you.”

News Flash – No one can empower you – only YOU can empower you.

Now I know I’m preaching to the choir on this one, but I just had to get it out…

Ric and I have created or licensed the product that we sell, as well as this blog, to help you identify the stuff that is holding you back so you can eradicate it and to help you create TRUE freedom (financial and otherwise) so you can get on with LIVING MORE.

End of story.

If that tweaks a few people’s sensibilities so be it – the message is important and it needs to be uncovered.

After all today marks the day when we get down to the last 100 days of the year.  It’s crunch time and we can’t afford to be laboring under delusions perpetuated by Hollywood, a multi-billion dollar industry, or society in general.

In the next few days we’re going to be releasing the next expose’ piece that really digs in and shows you WHY we believe some of the myths we do – even when we “know better” – and how we can start systematically knocking them out of our lives once and for all.

Until next time have a GREAT day!