February, 2011 Archive

Scratch the Surface – See What’s Underneath All That Anger

February 22nd, 2011 by Adaire in Sharing Success

“Anger is short-lived madness.”  ~Horace

I used to be an angry person.  A very angry one, at that.  Too angry to enjoy life’s moments of happiness and success, too emotionally clouded to realize that the relationships I had with the people around me were affected, and slowly destructing.  My anger seeped through every word, action and though, building walls and distance further away from loved ones.  Too angry, even to know, what the heck I was really angry about.

That was a long time ago. :) Long before I realized some things that made me stop and look deep into myself.  This is exactly what Teri Amos-Britt suggests that people do in her article From Anger to Love:

“The next time you get angry and want to blame everyone for your unhappiness, stop, take a breath, and ask what the little kid inside of you needs to feel loved. This is where anger is released and you create a connection to God. It is in this connection that you become an example of love.”

Teri Amos-Britt, spiritual coach and motivational speaker, and founder of TheEnlightenedMom.com, shares with us a powerful message of love, healing and hope in the August 2010 issue of Healthy, Wealthy N Wise.

The angry little kid in you

Terri’s article talks of paying attention to the little child in us – the child who gets angry when she’s not given enough time & attention, nurture & rest.  It’s your inner child that is angry at yourself  “Your anger is a gift telling you that the little kid inside of you is mad because you are not listening to your heart.”… When you instead choose to listen to your head about old ways or beliefs of how things should be, you let your head win and disregard the emotional side of yourself.

This head over heart process angers the little kid in you when your emotional needs are ignored.  And it is the selfishness of that child in you that lets you go around striking at each person who crosses your path while you’re having your bout of anger.

Honor thyself, honor thy God

For Terri, when we honor ourselves and that part of us that needs nurture, we honor God at the same time.  Anything in your heart that creates more love is honoring God. That’s because God put the message there in the first place… When you dishonor yourself, you dishonor God. When you deny yourself, it’s as if you are pointing your finger at God and saying, “God, you made a mistake when you made me. Everyone else is fine. And they deserve to be loved. But not me. You really screwed up when you created me.”

It’s really all up to us.  It’s we who give allow the many external things around us that neglects the little child in us, that disconnects us from the people around us, and ultimately, dishonor God.

Clearly, we are in command of our emotions.  When we are in command of or thoughts and actions, it’s only us who can give permission to let anger in.

Scratch the surface

I stopped being an angry person when I realized that anger, in fact, is just at the surface.  Underneath all that anger are many layers of deep-seated emotions

That needed to be addressed, and faced.

Peel away the anger, underneath it is hurt.  Take away the hurt, and underneath all that, is love.  Layer by layer, we have to work on scratching the surface, so we can allow the other emotions to rise up, until it is only love that remains.

Just like Terri, this for me, is the best way to resolve all the angry emotions that we carry with us around.  Look into ourselves deeper and find out, exactly what it is that is hurting us.  Why are we so angry, what was not right, why were we so hurt?  And once those questions are answered, and the issues addressed, apologies given and remedies taken, love surfaces above it all. :)

Let love surface through it all,


Image by: atsoram / sxc.hu

e-Love Letters

February 15th, 2011 by Adaire in Financial Freedom

At this modern age, love letters have been replaced with e-mails and text messages. While e-messages are so much faster to send and receive, I still miss the days when I would eagerly open-up an envelope and unfold the paper inside so I can get the message. Apart from the extra effort required for sending out paper love letters, I guess the beauty of it lies on the fact that the sender has the purest intentions written in that letter – a message that is written as thought, without edits, and is exclusive for the addressee. :)

Any written material that aims to convey a message to the receiver, whether in paper or electronic form, can elicit that same excitement. This is actually the most important goal when doing e-mail marketing, where you are advertising in the form of a direct e-mail.

Controlled Direction

There is a reason why the first part of the letter is called heading – so the reader knows right away who the message is for, giving a concrete direction to where the letter is “headed” to. This is related to the advantages of e-mail marketing as stated Kerry O’Malley’s article “Email Marketing is Not Spam! (If It’s Done Right)” in the October Issue of Internet Marketing TnT magazine.

E-mails are highly targeted and are completely customizable so the source has optimum control on who receives and what content is sent out. Before you decide on sending out e-mails, you must know your target market. By knowing, you should understand their likes and interests – what excites them! Use this to get their attention right at the subject of your e-mail. This way, you have a great chance that your e-mail will be read and will not go straight to trash. :)

Kerry suggests that you categorize your customer database according to the level of their interest to the product or service. Current customers need to feel remembered and rewarded. Potential clients are a bit hesitant to engage unless they know all the information they need about your product. If you are upselling a new product, keep it related to the current one the customer patronizes.

The Meat

Okay, the appetizer may have worked but you have to sustain the interest as they go to the body of the message. All readers know only one thing when reading e-mails – that the sender is trying to sell something whether an idea, a product or a service. That is why a spam category exists, to filter out unsolicited e-mails that only aim to sell.

But did you know that you can promote and be well-appreciated by your customers at the same time? This is what Paul Melendez is trying to say in his article “How to Succeed With Email Marketing” . Subscribers signed-up to receive your e-mails not to be flooded with non-sense but for them to gain something beneficial to them.

When you promote, do it in such a way that the ultimate objective is to make your customer’s life better and not for you to close a deal. In short, keep your reader’s thoughts and feelings in mind, not yours! Sometimes, it is even better if you drop by just to share a vital information or recent update with no intention of selling at all. Clients will surely appreciate this! In the process, you establish a genuine concern which actually nurtures your relationship with your reader. :)

Don’t forget to indicate a “call-to-action” or what exactly you want your customer to do after reading your e-mail. When doing this, be precise and provide functional and easy to navigate links, e.g. registration or website URLs. Remember, if your e-mail looks confusing and if some clickables don’t work, you lose your reader’s interest.  Apart from these call-to-actions, you can gauge the success of an e-mail campaign with today’s web analytics as Kerry mentioned in his article.

Breathing Space

Just like any relationship, you don’t necessarily have to see or talk to each other every single day. Allow your readers to miss you and long for you. It’s true that e-mail marketing is so cost-efficient for you don’t have to pay for media placement, plus you get more exposure in a span of seconds. But if you suffocate your readers by flooding their boxes, trust me, that is e-marketing epic failure!

Paul says in his article that monthly to weekly campaigns at the most is just right to sustain the reader’s interest without being a nuisance. Also, he suggests giving the subscribers an opt-out option. You can place this at the end of your message (e.g. To discontinue your subscription, click on this link) and make sure it works. This way, your readers don’t feel tied down to something especially if they are no longer your target market. (e.g. A soon-to-be bride may subscribe to wedding magazines but may want to unsubscribe after her wedding.)

The best way to ensure the success of an e-mail campaign is to always put yourself in your reader’s shoes. What would you enjoy reading more, a bulleted list of product or service perks or a brief real-life story which serves as a testimony of the goods being sold?

Just like in print, TV or radio ads, e-mail advertisements also require creativity and wit to obtain attention and recall which will result to action.

Enjoy e-mailing! (Oops, not too much! :) )


Image by: knips / sxc.hu


February 8th, 2011 by Adaire in Financial Freedom, Sharing Success

Gone are the days when women were delegated as simple housewives, homemakers and nurturers.  Today’s woman is no longer expected to just stay home, keep the house tidy, take care of the children and wait at home for the hubby with a warm meal.  :)   Of course there are still women who choose to do just that, and there is nothing wrong with it.  But today, women have more choices and today’s society is more accepting of the different roles that a woman can take on.

May it be in the corporate world, or in private business, more and more women are emerging to be just as successful as the opposite gender.  Women are no longer viewed as the weaker sex, in fact, the world is now more recognizant of how strong and powerful a woman can be.

I speak as one, a woman entrepreneur.  My good friend Liz, is another.  We are just two of the many women who have chosen to do more outside of the home, and can realistically say, are successful at it. :)

Clara Freema, a puplished writer, professional nurse and life coach wrote about women entrepreneurs in the July issue of Small Business CEO Online Magazine.  Her articles give us an insight into the mind of the businesswoman, and lists down Facts to Consider When They Do It for ThemselvesSmall Business CEO Online Magazine encourages people to start their own business and give support to people who have already started by sharing tips, market trends and success stories of other small business entrepreneurs.

Why women “do it”

For Clara, a woman’s reasons for going into her own entrepreneurial endeavor are simple.  In the woman’s mind:

1.     Working for other people is NOT (emphasis) my birthright

2.     Companies will never pay me what I’m worth

3.     I cannot pursue my dreams working for other people

4.     Do what you love and the money will follow.

I share the exact same sentiments.  When I started out, I knew I had strengths and capabilities that I could capitalize on.  Strengths and capabilities, that if were devoted to an employer, could not possibly be paid the appropriate compensation.  I also knew that having to be answerable to a boss would just curtail my passion and limit my ideas.  I decided that the best way to live and do something I love was to do things for myself.  And so I jumped, and became a woman entrepreneur. :)

Being your own boss

A woman knows that aside from raising the children and keeping house, she is also expected to augment the family income to the best of her ability.  This is why more women pursue higher studies and training, to be able to compete in the male-dominated corporate world.  And as the woman gets ahead, there comes a point in her life when she is faced with choices of priority – my career, or my family.  Choosing the family over office politics is one of the reasons why women decide to enter into private business.

An article in Bloomberg Businessweek, by Francesca di Meglio, shares women entrepreneurs’ success stories and reasons why they went into business in the first place:

“Having the flexibility to create your own schedule, which makes it easier to have a family and a career, also encourages women to become their own bosses. “I refused to outsource the upbringing of children,” says Corinne Wayshak, CEO of Groovy Goddess in Sunnyvale, Calif. “I found the entrepreneurial path as a way to be a leader who had the power to engender a more family-oriented environment.”

A clear example of a woman choosing family over personal career, and at the same time, being a productive member of society by pursuing her own dreams. :)

Knowing your real value

A woman knows the might of her capabilities.  She knows her strong points and is aware of the areas where she can be an asset.  A woman knows what she can do and the level of intensity she can put into it.   In simple terms, a woman knows her real value.  J  This is why women entrepreneurs make a go at their own business.  When they realize that the time, effort and energy they put into an endeavour can never be appropriately compensated when they are someone’s employee.

And what better endeavour is there than to devoting your time and energies on fulfilling a dream, making a passion alive, and enjoying every minute of it!  That, to me, is the most priceless part of it. :)

Making that small idea big

All it takes, really, is a small idea.  Study it, turn it around in your head, explore the possibilities, do your research, and assess if you can confidently turn your small idea into something big.  Start with realistic goals, do your thing, and watch it grow. :)

Needless to say, I’m not saying that for these reasons, women should just take that leap of faith and jump into the entrepreneurial bandwagon.  A lot of thought and preparation should be put into it.  Clara gives a straightforward suggestion on how to go about it:  “Starting your own business is a favorable pursuit. However, there are tools to learn before jumping on the bandwagon. Take stock of your financial affordability (staying power) Identify your product. Study the Market for such a product. Study the experts, and begin a business plan”.

Let’s go, women!  Let’s show the world the power and might of a true woman of the world. :)

Proud to be a woman entrepreneur,


Image by: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Attitude – That Little Thing That Makes A Big Difference

February 3rd, 2011 by Adaire in Lifestyle, Sharing Success

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight – it’s the size of the fight in the dog.  ~Dwight Eisenhower

I have always found myself gravitating towards the side of the room where the sun seems to be brighter, the flowers taller, people’s energies higher, moods lighter and smiles wider.  I noticed this about myself whenever I attend business conventions.  When it’s time to step into the hall, scan the crowd for familiar faces, and choose a direction to move towards to, I would always  choose to seat myself with people who are positive and light. :)

Thinking back, I now believe it’s the attitude of these kinds of people that “invite” me to move towards them.  It’s the kind of upbeat energy that they carry, and the vibe they send out that makes talking to them interesting and time well-spent.  I am certain that it’s that little thing called attitude that makes a big difference. :)

I say this now as I recall an article I read in Small Business CEO Magazine online magazine last July.  This article was written by Brian Tracy, one of the leading authorities on personal and business success.  Brian gives fast-moving talks and seminars on ideas and strategies for better results in both areas.  His article entitled Attitude versus Aptitude, sites the 80/20 rule on success:  80% being determined by attitude & 20% by aptitude.

Brian’s article speaks primarily to salesmen and business people.  Skill and knowledge are important to sell, but a big cut of the success pie will come from the salesman’s attitude. Brian encourages sales people to develop a good attitude:  A positive mental attitude, or a constructive and optimistic way of looking at yourself and your work, goes hand in hand with sales success in every field and in every market. The development of this unshakable attitude of cheerfulness and enthusiasm is your springboard to greatness as a salesperson, no matter what is going on around you.” :)

Bright & sunny vs. dark & twisted

We all have friends who seem to be heavy to be around with.  I have a couple of them who make me feel gloomier whenever I need cheering up, or less encouraged whenever I need motivation.  It’s the exact opposite feeling I would like to end up with whenever I need a good talk.  They’re not helpful at all and I realized these are the kind of people that will weigh me down.  They’re the ones on top of my “to avoid list”. :)

My bright and sunny friends, on the other hand, are the real keepers.  Though admittedly, sometimes, they can get too bright and sunny for me, I just love their attitude and outlook.  I go to them when I need a quick picker-upper, encouragement, or simply positive viewpoints in life. :)

Let’s talk shopping.  J  Is it just me or it’s true for everyone else that you tend to buy more (even stuff you don’t really need! J) when you’re attended to by a salesperson who’s cheerful and upbeat?  Whose smile takes away your fatigue and worries of the day and whose comments just make you feel so much better?  I tell you, I’m a real sucker for bright and sunny.  Just the thought of adding to cheerio-saleslady’s commission makes me happy to walk out of the store with packages I enjoyed spending on.  :)

A song in your heart

In Brian’s Attitude versus Aptitude article, he recommends two exercises that can help develop a positive attitude.  The first is to, “resolve today to develop and cultivate an attitude of calm, confident, positive expectations towards yourself, your customers and your career. Expect the best!”

Sometimes, it’s easier said than done, but it is really so much better when we live our lives carrying a song in our pocket and a heart full of hope and positive energy.  It makes our step lighter and our work load less stressful, our outlook in life so much more hopeful, the possibilities limitless! :)

A positive mental attitude

“Second, take complete control of your thinking and concentrate on the solution rather than the problem. Look for the good in every situation. Be positive and cheerful, no matter what happens.

It’s really one’s attitude that makes a big difference when one is deluged with many problems and challenges that need resolving.  The negative person would just slump lower, but the one with the positive attitude will focus on dealing with the problem.  And will still be able to take stock of the many other things that he is grateful for. :)

Having a positive way of thinking is an invaluable asset in time of great difficulty.  This is when you can shout and face your problem and say, “My strengths and capabilities are bigger than you!”  :)

Now let’s not forget about the 20% that Brian talks about in Attitude versus Aptitude – skill and ability.  Of course, no matter how bright and sunny you are, if you don’t fully know what you’re selling and what you’re talking about, you’ll never to close that sale at all.  Part of developing that positive mental attitude is sharpening your skill and honing your abilities.  Know everything you need to know, own your product like it’s the back of your hand.  This will give you the confidence to sell more and do more! :)

The positive soul

I came across another article on positivism by Ken Harness, a success coach that aims to help people take self-improvement to the next level.  He writes about 7 ways to develop a positive attitude:

  • Take passionate action towards living your life.  Don’t just go through the motions.  Truly live each moment. :) you.
  • Act instead of react.  Being proactive makes you responsible for what happens to you.
  • Believe that each moment is perfect regardless of its outcome.  See the good in every situation instead of dwelling on the bad side. :)
  • Learn to always be grateful for what you have.  “It’s a well-known fact among successful people that having gratitude will get you more than never being satisfied.” :)
  • Seize every opportunity that you can get instead of regretting it later.  Develop that sixth sense for opportunities that should be taken.
  • Always keep your sense of humor. Don’t take yourself, or life, too seriously. Learn to laugh and you will be more positive, especially if you can learn to laugh at yourself. :)
  • Believe that you are in charge of your destiny. No one can take your dreams from you except for you.  It’s what you make of yourself and your life that you can control.

In this game called life, it’s the fight in us that spells success or failure.  It’s the positive attitude that we develop that attracts all the good things around us, that make possibilities limitless, and success a mere step away.

The person who successfully develops this kind of right attitude can definitely make more, live more, and give more! :)

Keep your hearts happy and light! :)


Image by: Graur Codrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net