February 22nd, 2011 Archive

Scratch the Surface – See What’s Underneath All That Anger

February 22nd, 2011 by Adaire in Sharing Success

“Anger is short-lived madness.”  ~Horace

I used to be an angry person.  A very angry one, at that.  Too angry to enjoy life’s moments of happiness and success, too emotionally clouded to realize that the relationships I had with the people around me were affected, and slowly destructing.  My anger seeped through every word, action and though, building walls and distance further away from loved ones.  Too angry, even to know, what the heck I was really angry about.

That was a long time ago. :) Long before I realized some things that made me stop and look deep into myself.  This is exactly what Teri Amos-Britt suggests that people do in her article From Anger to Love:

“The next time you get angry and want to blame everyone for your unhappiness, stop, take a breath, and ask what the little kid inside of you needs to feel loved. This is where anger is released and you create a connection to God. It is in this connection that you become an example of love.”

Teri Amos-Britt, spiritual coach and motivational speaker, and founder of TheEnlightenedMom.com, shares with us a powerful message of love, healing and hope in the August 2010 issue of Healthy, Wealthy N Wise.

The angry little kid in you

Terri’s article talks of paying attention to the little child in us – the child who gets angry when she’s not given enough time & attention, nurture & rest.  It’s your inner child that is angry at yourself  “Your anger is a gift telling you that the little kid inside of you is mad because you are not listening to your heart.”… When you instead choose to listen to your head about old ways or beliefs of how things should be, you let your head win and disregard the emotional side of yourself.

This head over heart process angers the little kid in you when your emotional needs are ignored.  And it is the selfishness of that child in you that lets you go around striking at each person who crosses your path while you’re having your bout of anger.

Honor thyself, honor thy God

For Terri, when we honor ourselves and that part of us that needs nurture, we honor God at the same time.  Anything in your heart that creates more love is honoring God. That’s because God put the message there in the first place… When you dishonor yourself, you dishonor God. When you deny yourself, it’s as if you are pointing your finger at God and saying, “God, you made a mistake when you made me. Everyone else is fine. And they deserve to be loved. But not me. You really screwed up when you created me.”

It’s really all up to us.  It’s we who give allow the many external things around us that neglects the little child in us, that disconnects us from the people around us, and ultimately, dishonor God.

Clearly, we are in command of our emotions.  When we are in command of or thoughts and actions, it’s only us who can give permission to let anger in.

Scratch the surface

I stopped being an angry person when I realized that anger, in fact, is just at the surface.  Underneath all that anger are many layers of deep-seated emotions

That needed to be addressed, and faced.

Peel away the anger, underneath it is hurt.  Take away the hurt, and underneath all that, is love.  Layer by layer, we have to work on scratching the surface, so we can allow the other emotions to rise up, until it is only love that remains.

Just like Terri, this for me, is the best way to resolve all the angry emotions that we carry with us around.  Look into ourselves deeper and find out, exactly what it is that is hurting us.  Why are we so angry, what was not right, why were we so hurt?  And once those questions are answered, and the issues addressed, apologies given and remedies taken, love surfaces above it all. :)

Let love surface through it all,


Image by: atsoram / sxc.hu