Tips on True Love: Is the Nice Guy the Right Guy?

Written on Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012 at 2:17 am by Adaire
Filed under Lifestyle.

I was talking to a good friend of mine a few days ago and she was telling me about a nice guy she met. She said he was attractive, had a good job and makes her feel very comfortable. Needless to say, he was an overall nice guy. But there was a big problem: my friend wasn’t attracted to him.

She just couldn’t help but see him as a friend. She told me how she went out with him on several dates in the hope that she would feel a spark of passion, something that could inspire her to see him as a potential romance. She hoped that he would do something to take her breath away or sweep her off her feet. It was clear that she really liked him as a person and she wanted so bad to see him as the type of guy she could be romantically attracted to. Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be.

I believe that nice guys deserve someone who would love them and be passionate about them, because they deserve nothing less. I feel bad for nice guys who don’t do well romantically. But I feel worse when a woman “settles” for a nice guy that she’s not passionate about, simply because she thought he was a good catch.

Pamela R Reaves says it best in “When Nice Is Not Enough,” an article I found in Healthy Wealthy nWise. She says, “Once we define him or her as nice, the sense of entitlement enters the picture even when we’re desperately trying to exercise restraint. He or she is “nice,” so we must have this person in our lives. If they are attractive and nice, then we must definitely have them close to us.

There is a tendency for us, women, to rationalize going into a relationship with a nice guy we’re not passionate about. Many of us have been involved with “imperfect” partners before and meeting someone who is “nice” could be refreshing. But if the passion or chemistry isn’t there, we shouldn’t force it.

Forcing ourselves into liking a nice guy would be unfair not only to him, but for you as well. You might prevent Mr. Nice Guy from meeting a girl who could be passionate about him. And worse, you might miss an opportunity to find someone who stirs your soul, makes you feel giddy like a high school girl, and drives you head over heels in love! That’s the type of relationship we should be looking forward to!

As much as we don’t want to reject Mr. Nice Guy, being nice just isn’t reason enough for you to be in a relationship with someone. If you want more specific situations when “nice” is not enough, here are some from “When Nice Is Not Enough”:

  • When two people desire a commitment that goes far beyond casual;
  • When you want your love-interest to have no regrets, reservations, or questions about spending the rest of his/her life with you- especially if you’re planning on living a very long life;
  • When you need the comfort, care, and support of the individual to whom you have entrusted your well-being and you are not well; When you need unwavering support during a period of test, trial, or tribulation;
  • When you want the slightest touch from your partner to convey far more than the touch itself – the kind of touch that reaches the soul;
  • Or when you want to see a smile on his/her face that matches the wonderful feeling you have inside just thinking about the time the two of you spend together.

As Pamela says, “This level of commitment, depth of love, degree of stamina, soul-stirring touch, and mutual passion calls for far more than “nice”. Be honest with yourself. When you started out by describing him or her as “nice”; when you envisioned where the relationship was going, when you decided to forsake all others and commit solely to this person, you expected much more than “nice.

We should learn to be patient when it comes to love. I know how awful it is to be single when all your friends seem to be happily involved with great partners. But don’t just settle for the next nice guy you meet. Find someone you not only like, but someone you adore.

If you’re finding it hard to find true love, read 3 Tips for Finding True Love Any Time of the Year which is also from Healthy Wealthy nWise. Shay Dawkins gives three tips that can help you find not just Mr. Nice, but Mr. Right!

  • Be thankful for everything (including your mistakes). Learn to be thankful for the good things in your life.
  • Forgive others so that you can forgive yourself.
  • Find enjoyment and satisfaction in every day. Strive to find the happiness in your average, workaday life.

Shay believes that before we can find love outside ourselves, we must strive to find love within ourselves first. It’s much easier to be open and generous with our emotions when our hearts are free from emotional turmoil, guilt, or discontent.

The joy and positivity we feel will radiate from within us and attract the right people we can share our wonderful life with. You don’t have to seek out love. Be generous with your compassion and love will come find you.

May you find someone you are passionate about and who is passionate about you! :)

Adaire

Image by: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


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